Loss...the fact or process of losing something or someone. That definition doesn't seem up to par for what I have seen of true love loss. The loss of a child. A piece of your heart.
I've had "hero's" that I look up to. Ones that walk such a clean path for God that you just look at them and know God is right beside them. Hero's that have so much love and peace that all they do is smile. Knowing behind that smile are many heartaches. I've had many "Hero's" up until June 2, 2016. The day my HEROic sister gave birth to a beautiful baby boy, Elijah. As most of you know, I lost a nephew. My sweet sister had a child that was born sleeping in Heavenly peace. Never...Never...have I seen such strength. My sister and I have been the best of friends as long as I can remember. We are 2.5 years apart and our close sisterhood has kept us together through many curveballs in life. All of those "hero's" were knocked down a few numbers as a new "hero" appeared before my eyes. My sister. The strongest person in the world is a grieving mother that wakes up and keeps going every morning. Her Faith in God. Her Hope for comfort. Her Patience for God's plan. Her Love in Christ. Her smile covering her broken heart. The normal thing you want to say to someone is "I'm so sorry!". For some reason, I knew "sorry" wasn't good enough. All I could say when I first saw her was, "I love you, I love you so much" with tears tearing my silent and inner brokenness. All I could offer her was my love, knowing it wasn't good enough either. She had experienced the unimaginable, and she is still able to stand strong through her storm. Faith isn't an emotion. It's a decision.
To my sister...
You made it another day, even though yesterday you did not feel you could. Right now you may laugh that I call you my "Hero", but that is what you are. You are moving forward one day at a time. You tell bitterness "No!" as you wake up each morning. You are brave. You are courageous. You are beautiful. I stand behind you in amazement of God's comforting hand. I see him guiding you through the stormy waves crashing around you. He has you on one side and Elijah on the other.
To Elijah, my nephew...
To the world...
On that note... I will end with a line of prayer.
Lord, Wrap your arms around my family and draw us closer to you. Amen.
There is a sacredness in tears.
They are not the mark of weakness, but of power.
They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues.
They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love.
To my sister...
You made it another day, even though yesterday you did not feel you could. Right now you may laugh that I call you my "Hero", but that is what you are. You are moving forward one day at a time. You tell bitterness "No!" as you wake up each morning. You are brave. You are courageous. You are beautiful. I stand behind you in amazement of God's comforting hand. I see him guiding you through the stormy waves crashing around you. He has you on one side and Elijah on the other.
To Elijah, my nephew...
You were born silent.
Perfect and handsome.
Still Loved. Still missed.
Still remembered. Everyday.
Stillborn.
But still born.
To the world...
I may not have been able to hold you, or bounce you on my lap. I never got to read to you or watch you as you nap. You slipped away, before I said your name. And I want the world to know, I love you just the same.
A Mother is not defined by the number of children you can see but by the Love she holds in her heart.
On that note... I will end with a line of prayer.
Lord, Wrap your arms around my family and draw us closer to you. Amen.
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